What’s the point of a cozy?

For some reason my creative juices are overflowing. As I started looking for crochet patterns, I noticed there are way too many cozies patterns Why? Can anyone tell me why we even need cozies? My theory is that people, mostly knitters, have too much energy and if not for cozies would run around crazy. Eventually going so loony they have to be put in straight jackets. I say mostly knitters, cause I think knitters are harder-hardcore about their craft than other crafty people.

Here are some totally useless items that probably kept some poor person from going crazy:
I have a hard enough time hearing my phone ring in my purse, this cozy would only help to muffle the noise

This is useful cause the handle is outside and is likely to get chilly

I think that you would have to be drunk to use this

I don’t even know what to say.